is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
