so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
