Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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