Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
