she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
