Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize