If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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