bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
