yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
