Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Blood and glitter go together right?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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