does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Still dying that you shit outside
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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