Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize