Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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