Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
