If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize