i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
