We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
