Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
