It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize