my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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