they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
