dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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