Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i dont even know how to be here
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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