Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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