i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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