I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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