Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
