btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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