She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
