Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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