Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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