Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
