Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
We named our party play list daddy issues
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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