I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
