nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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