Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
