If i come over, it means nothing
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
