Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Can you bring me the toilet please
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
