scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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