one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
