i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
