We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
