if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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