So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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