If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
