i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
