i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
