we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
nutella sex= disaster
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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