What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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