I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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