He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
