I got chris browned last night
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
