I think my vagina is haunted
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
