just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I have post one night stand depression
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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