420 ftw
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
