I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
