You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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