He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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