As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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