ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
