do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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